Nothing Broken But My Heart
by purplepagoda
Summary: She could have broken, but she was always stronger than that. Time has given her the push she always needed. A shove into his arms. Now that Goren and Eames aren't partners is there a potential for something more? Will she let her heart take that chance?
1. Taking Chances

Now that they weren't partners there was nothing holding back. There was no imaginary line to keep they away from one another. There was nothing stopping them from being together. Nothing except pure ignorance. He knew what he wanted. She knew what she needed. But they questioned what the other one wanted, what the other one needed.

She liked to drive. She knew that if she wanted to take that chance, she'd have to initiate things. She could sit around and wait forever, or she could take the chance. She could gamble, on him.

She waits by the door. Finally the buzzer rings, her heart skips a beat. "I'll be down in a second," she tells him. She grabs her purse, and leaves her apartment. She rides the elevator to the lobby. She finds him waiting at the door for her. She smiles at him as she makes her way towards him in four inch heels. His eyes light up when he sees her.

His eyes remain fixed on her. Her hair, her black dress, the sparkling necklace around her neck. Her eyes meet his. He puts his hand out. She places her hand in his, and they walk to the curb. She hesitates for a moment. "Is there a problem?" he questions.

"No," she shakes her head. She dangles the car keys in front of him.

"You want me to drive?"

"I thought that it would be a nice change of pace."

"Ok," he agrees, opening the passenger's side door for her. He helps her into the SUV, and closes the door behind her. He walks around the front of the car and gets into the driver's seat. It doesn't take them long to reach the restaurant. They're seated quickly. They place their orders, and wait anxiously. They stare at each other as nervous as two teenagers on their first date. She watches as other couples whirl around the dance floor. She says nothing. He scoots his chair out. He vacates his seat, and moves over to her. He holds out his hand.

"May I have this dance?" he questions like a giddy school boy.

"Of course," she smiles.

He leads her onto the dance floor. He puts one hand in hers, and the other on the small of her back. He leads around the floor cautiously, not wanting to get too close, trying to respect her space. Without notice she closes the gap between them. When the song stops they stand unmoved in the center of the floor. The piano player takes a pause. He organizes his sheet music.

She stares into the eyes of her date. He looks into hers. He grazes her jaw line with his fingers. She tilts her head towards his. Finally after too many years of unrequited love, of palpable tension, of unmentioned feelings, their lips meet. Moments later the music starts again, the kiss ends. He leads her off the dance floor. When they reach their table he pulls out her chair for her. She hesitates.

"What?"

"I'm not really that hungry," she admits.

He motions for the waiter, and places a couple of bills in his hand. "Let's get you home," he suggest, "We should get you out of that uncomfortable dress."

"Ok," she nods.

He parks the car on the street, and walks her to the elevator. He waits for her to offer. "You coming up?"

"I hoped that you'd ask," he answers.

They reach her apartment. He slams her door behind them. He latches the door. She slips off her heels. She moves towards him. Wordlessly she begins removing his tie. His hand moves to her back. His fingers gently pull on her zipper.

She feels his stubble against her cheek. "You don't know how long I've waited for this," she admits.

"Yes I do," he responds.

She leads him into the bedroom. The room smells of fresh linens. They're both down to their undergarments now.

Her phone rings, waking her from her restful sleep. She grabs the phone, not wanting to wake him. She rolls away from him to answer. His phone rings on the other side of the bed. He answers groggily. They both speak for a few moments and then hang up. They place their phones on the bedside stands located on each side of the bed. She rolls over to find him looking at her. She smiles at him.

"It's early you should go back to sleep," he offers.

"And miss this? I don't think so."

Her hand touches his uncovered biceps. "Duty calls?" he questions.

"Yeah," she nods.

"Me too," he sulks.

"I don't want to go anywhere. I just want to stay right here."

"I don't think we have a choice."

"I know," she admits.

They both shower, and get dressed. He gets into a cab, and she leaves in her car. She drives a few blocks. She parks in a garage under the building, and takes the elevator to the fifth floor. She waits in a reception area with her visitor's badge on. Finally she gets called into the director's office.

"Have a seat Alex," he offers. She takes a seat across the desk from him.

"What's this about?"

"You were surprised that I called?"

"A little," she admits.

The director's phone rings, "Hello?" he answers, "Thank you Rachel, send him in."

The heavy wooden door opens and Goren steps into the office. He gives Alex a questioning look, but takes the seat next to her.

The director wastes no time, "The FBI feels that you two have what we're looking for. You guys are a dream team. You're great partners, but best of all you're loyal to each other."

"What are you saying?" Goren questions.

"We'd like to offer the two of you positions."

"What would we be doing?" Alex questions.

"For your first assignment you'd be going undercover, obviously I can't divulge classified information unless the two of you sign on."

"What can you tell us?" Goren queries.

"You'd be going undercover in another state, as a married couple."

"We could do that in our sleep," Alex admits.

"I'll give you two a moment to discuss things," he gets out of his chair and heads for the door.

Alex takes Goren's hand. She squeezes it, and then lets go.

"Wait," Goren stops the director in the doorway.

He spins around, "Yes?"

"We don't need a moment," Goren reveals.

"Unemployment isn't kind. We'll do it," Alex agrees.

"Good. I'm glad to have the two of you on board."

"Just point us in the right direction, and we'll be ready to go."

The director sends them down the hall to the elevator with instructions to visit the ninth floor for their assignment. The elevator doors close, leaving Alex, and Bobby on the elevator alone.

"This is unbelievable," he faces her.

"I know," she smiles.

"It won't be hard to convince anyone will it?"

"Most of the time we're the hardest ones to convince."

"We'll that's already been taken care of. Don't you think?"


	2. Only One Road

She climbs into the driver's seat. He waits for her to speed away from the parking spot, as usual. She doesn't move. She stares out the window as the keys hand in the ignition.

"How long are we going to sit here? You know that I'm not a fan of the silent treatment."

She locks the doors. This gets his attention. Her arm rests on the console. He touches her arm.

"Talk to me."

She turns her head to look at him. He looks into her eyes, seeing that she's just barely holding it together. "Are you having second thoughts?"

"No."

"Then what's the problem?"

"I don't want to keep pretending."

"Pretending? You don't want to go undercover?"

"I've finally stopped lying to myself, and I don't want to lie to the rest of the world. I'm tired, Bobby. I'm tired of trying so hard to keep everything together. I don't care anymore. I don't want to have to..." she stops before she'll say something regrettable.

"Keep protecting me?"

"I just I don't want to go into this not knowing."

"Not knowing what?"

"I know how I feel. You know how I feel. I've..."

"You've proven yourself time and time again. You've protected me for a long time. You don't have to keep doing that. You don't want to pretend to be a happy married couple when you don't know where we stand, for real?"

"Yes."

"You know what you're getting yourself into. You think that I don't know. I know who you are Alex. I know things that..."

"Do you?"

"I know that the day that your nephew was born, the day you gave him life, you wished that something would happen to your sister. It eats at you that you pray something will go wrong so that every night you go to bed he's with you. I know that you considered leaving the hospital with him, and never coming back. I know that you hate that your sister's happiness makes you feel that way. You think that you're being selfish, but you're not."

"I never told you that."

"You didn't have to. I could see the look in your eyes the first day you were back. I could see the longing. You wish that it could have been you. That he could have been yours, but you gave up on that dream long ago. You gave up on being a wife, and a mother. You never wanted to be married to your job. You just wanted to be a soccer mom who cooked her husband, and her houseful of kids dinner, every night. But you let that dream die, alongside Joe. And you've never been the same since. You shut yourself off, and you're scared to let anyone too close. You're afraid to let anyone see that you're not bulletproof. I see it, and I don't care."

"I just..."

"You want to feel safe. I know that."

"We don't know how long we'll be undercover."

"It doesn't matter as long as your with me. I can handle anything with you by my side," he admits.

"Are we really going to do this? We're really going to work for the same people who..."

"We don't have to if you don't want to."

"I do but I don't know if I'm ready."

"I think that there's something that we should do before we go."

"We're leaving in two days."

"That's plenty of time."

"To do what?"

"To prove to you that I'm not going anywhere."

"You can't know that. Anything could happen, you're not bulletproof either Bobby."

"I would do anything to be with you."

"We've got a lot to do before we leave. We should get going," she turns the car on. She places her hand on the gearshift. He places her hand on top of hers.

"You should let me drive."

"Why?"

"It will be character building."

"Nine years with you as a partner has taken care of that."

"Alex, just once let me drive."

"Fine."

They get out of the car and switch seats. Once she buckles her seat belt he pulls into the street. He drives to the end of the block and then takes a right at the stoplight.

"Where are we going? This isn't the way home."

"Just trust me."

"I trust you, it's just..."

"You question my motives."

"Sometimes."

"I've got a surprise for you."

"Oh great," she sighs.

Finally he finds a parking space. He puts the car into park, and gets out. He walks over to the passenger's side, and opens the door for her. She stares at him, remaining buckled.

"Are you coming?" he holds out his hand palm up.

"Once you tell me what we're doing here."

"I've just got to tie up a lose end, and then we'll head home."

"Ok."

When they're done he leads her back to the car. She stares at him, still in complete shock. Finally she starts the car, and puts it into gear. She maneuvers the steering wheel with one hand. Her other hand rests on the console. He takes her hand in his, and holds it tightly.

"There were other ways to prove..."

He stops her, "No there was no other way."

"You could have given me a little notice. I'm wearing jeans for heavens sake."

"Sorry. Next time I surprise you with a wedding ceremony in the office of one of our favorite judges I'll give you more notice."

"I'm just asking for a little bit of warning."

"I didn't think you needed warning for my erratic, unpredictable behavior. I thought that after nine years you'd be used to it."

"I can't believe this."

"Get used to it. Now you're stuck with me, forever."

"I just signed my life away."

"Oh Alex it's not like you were going to ever get rid of me anyway."

"I know."


End file.
